MY Fucking Fault!

My leg hurts like fuck and im walking with a slight limp. I lost in my best event- long jump- by 0.01m. I had nvr imagined such a lost which hurts so much. I had also caused my team the gold medal in the 400m relay. I was the last runner and i received the baton in 1st place. Somehow i just started sprinting for the 1st 250m and just lost steam at the final 150m when i saw ruben in front of me. I was sad/angry... alot of emotions where flying inside me and i was very close to giving up. I could not face my teammates. They had ran with all their might but i had let them down.

I had wanted to cry! And to cry so badly... but the tears just would not flow. I guess i was sad and disappointed but not enough. My hopes of becoming the sportsman of the year had just been crushed on my own doing. I wasnt expecting to win gold for the 400m relay but for long jump, i was aiming to beat the school rec of 6.55m. I did not even come close. It's like i was pierced thru my heart everytime i think bout it but alas, the tears would not come.