Saturday, January 24, 2009

Happy Ox Year!!

Happy Chinese New Year people.

We're stepping into the Year of the Ox.

What is the difference between an Ox, a Bull and a Goat? If you said spelling or pronounciation, then please, you're invited to my house for hoi lin!!

My house is open everyday, anytime!

Let me take this opportunity to be the nice person that i am, to wish you all:

Unrivaled Happiness!

Bountiful harvest and wealth!

Good health and the rigority of youth to use it!

Intelligence! (many of you are lacking)

and

the luck to achieve whatever that you strive for.



Happy Ox Year!!

Sunday, January 18, 2009

There goes the pineapple!

I feel good! I feel good!

If i keep telling myself that, i will!

Had been consigned to my rock hard bed for 2 days straight that i only leave it to satisfy the feeling of wanting to shit.

Having gastric is one thing, having stomach pains that move around like a fucking roller coaster is a whole new level of bullshit. To increase the psychological distress of my mind, i convinced myself that there's one big ass tapeworm inside of me.

That's why you're having pains all over your stomach!
Thats why you're so weak suddenly.
Thats why you eat so much b4 yet u aint growing.!
That's why.....

I feel good! I feel Good!

Went to the uni's clinic to get some meds and somehow i got conn-ed by the indian nurses to screened me. I told her how i feel and all she said was

nurse: okay, this is the best deal, take it.... and go!
me: uhhhhhh?
nurse: take it.... and go!
me: okay..

So instead of wanting meds to shit my empty stomach out, i got some for wind instead. Mixture of Magnesium Trisilicate.

I feel good! I feel good!

Things peaked yesterday when i see my 20 bucks worth of pizza spewing outta my mouth like a fire hose. Oh, there goes the cheese! Hmmm, that taste that Hawaiian chicken! Crap, there goes the pineapple.

WAIT A MINUTE. That taste familiar! Oh My God! It's island supreme!!!!

Okay, it didnt just exploded out aight. I bought a pack of 5 of Yakult with 30 billion live lactobaccillius bacteria! 30 billion! That outta to be enough to kill whatever is inside my tummy rite? Mwahahahhahaah.........

Happily, i downed all 5. In a span of 30 minutes. 150 billion lacto's gonna be a good fuck indeed. Indeed, i did take a small dump. Afterwhich i lied on my bed for an hour before walking to the bathroom with a roll of tissue in hand. I was about to pull down my pants when.

me1: *This dont feel right*
me2: *I think it's gonna come out of the wrong hole*
me1: *I think you're right*

I feel good! I feel good!

150 billion lacto's blocked my colon exit and forced things to go the other way.

Things took a turn... for the worse after that. Water in is water out the same hole it went in. 100 plus in is 100 plus out the same hole it went it. Magnesium Trisilicate in is Magnesium Trisilicate out the same hole.

but, i feel good! i feel good!

Nevertheless, things peaked yesterday and im feeling way better today. Still couldnt finish a bowl of noodles yet but that tasted almost as bad as my vomit.

Oooh, that's the mushroom from the mushroom soup!

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Yay, i got an impostor

Though faced with endless insults cum persuasion i have stood my ground and has been living without a facebook account where almost every1 else has one.

Even my 12 year old cousin has one. I should be living in a cave!

Anyway, while deleting my junk i came across a few messages..




Why do i have notifications from facebook when i dont even have an account??

So it's either:

a) Facebook has spam.
B) we got an impostor in our midst.

Considering how facebook is a social website, the probability of spam is rather high but they hv lots of ppl doing anti-spam. So.......

Now this is rather like a tinge of lemon, who the heck would want to impose as me? Does he\she loves me that much that he/she tries to be me? Good luck trying...

Or rather that person hates me so much that he's using my ass as his front to do sh!ts to my friends thinking i'll get spiked in the end. If that's the case, gotta give that person a hand. I commend your enthusiasm and applaud your stupidity. Once again, good luck trying.

I cant think of any1 who would wanna do that..... wait actually i can..

and the No.1 prime suspect:
Chris

coz he's feeling like me.


If any of u is still wondering, NO i don't have a facebook account. Whoever that is, accept his/her invite and hv fun with that person. Just dont screw too deep.

Have fun facebook-ing people.






you social losers.

Thursday, January 01, 2009

Happy New Year people!

Monday, December 29, 2008

Will be heading back only on the 3rd of jan due to foreseen circumstances.

Friday, December 26, 2008

Is knocked down and out by his cough and flu. No meds, no rest is not very smart.


I'm dying T.T

Wanna join my LAG party?

heng mao! heng mao! heng mao heng mao!

LAN party became a LAG party because my internet line could not support 4 pc's at a go. Ditinggal untuk mati is one hell of a game with high requirements but it feels worse than playing RA3 when it's lagging.

and RA3 suck balls..........bad

Loo, Danny and mou huang eventually started dissing my lappie till it crashed. Sensitive bitch i have here i see. Time for a change. Intergrated graphics is a big no-no. It's so useless it's like Bush with his presidency.

Next target : Hp pavillion.

Because ASUS and VAIO is way overpriced and only rich people pay more for the same product. ;-)

So we played left 4 dead for awhile, hearing 3 gunshots for every pressed and in the words of danny agreed upon by loo:

Example 1
danny: Wow for the first time i can see them cumming!
loo : Yar wei!

Example 2
danny: Lol, u can melee tank...
loo: im Dead! im Dead!


We finally left left 4 dead to rot in the lag and went to play dota which yours truly has not touched for many months.

Alas, because Asus sucks, loo went to salivate on my couch leaving the 3 of us to defend by ourselves. And defend we did, til 0630 this morning.

And so on boxing day where there should be more sales, im sitting at home zombie-ing away due to lack of sleep. Office calls started coming as early as 9.30 and just ceased for lunch.

Fucking chinamans dont know how to rest!!!!


******************

I confidently drove all the way to the petrol station to buy newspapers. I entered the mart and look around for the news stand.

Hmmm, it's missing.

Maybe they are hiding it.

So i asked the fat lady at the counter if there's a copy of The Star hiding under her clothes. She shook her hand and told me, " The start tarak, hari ini, semua surat khabar tarak"

It's boxing day man. It's boxing day.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Merry Xmas

Merry

Christmas

Everyone

!!!

Monday, December 22, 2008

B!tch.....

I lost my Gucci phone strap.


I'm Fucked.


I'm planning to buy another.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Are you a cow?

Sometimes i stare in amazement, sometimes in awe and sometimes, a feeling of sadness and pity fills my heart. These cows trudging slowly one behind another always following the pack. It's not like they don't have a choice, they do. But they still are only just cows.

Open your eyes the next time you visit the cinemas, i might just be describing you.

No i didnt say that just to spite you, deep inside you, you might just be a cow.

Okay, when everyone is exiting the cinema hall, just keep walking until you find yourself stuck in a human congestion. You look forward and you find out it because of the two-doored door ahead. It's opened on the LEFT and people trudge slowly through careful not to bang into other people and the door.

Now be honest, are you a COW?

I don't go to the cinemas very often but i've been seen my fair share of cows and every time, i stare at them in amazement, sometimes in awe and wonder and sometimes pity. i cant blame them, they're just being who they really are. Drones no wait, COWS... who cannot think for themselves and just follow the majority blindly leaving the right side which can be opened and thus easing the movement, untouched solely because it LOOKED like it's lock.

It's called the 'Herd Mentality', where people refuse to think and just follow the majority. I dont understand really. God gave you a brain yet you seem to prove that it does not exist in you. Oh wait, atheist might disagree. Okay okay, your monkey ancestors gave you a brain but you chose to have peanuts instead! Why? WHY????

I can't bring myself to call these people stupid because you who is reading might just be like one of those.

But then again they arent being stupid or doing it on purpose, they are just being who they really are.

I forgot to mention that im not saying EVEYRONE is like that, it's just that 90% of society is. Cheers to fellow 10% who arent acting like COWS!

Amen!
Allahu Akhbar!
Amitabha!

Stupidity transcends religion.

Friday, December 19, 2008

I'm so fucking pissed. Why is it always like that?

Sunday, December 14, 2008

愛在記憶中找你 - Drive of life OST





我情愿我狠心憎你
我還在記憶中找你

愛(oi) 在(joi) 記(gei) 憶(yik) 中(jung) 找(jaau) 你(nei) [The Drive of Life sub] - Raymond Lam

我(ngoh) 對(dui) 你(nei)   這(je) 一(yat) 生(sang)   哪(na) 個(goh) 可(hoh) 比(bei)
我(ngoh) 與(yue) 你(nei)   差(cha) 一(yat) 些(se)   永(wing) 遠(yuen) 一(yat) 起(hei)
邂(haai) 逅(hau) 時(si) 間(gaan) 場(cheung) 地(dei)  
似(chi) 連(lin) 場(cheung) 好(ho) 戲(hei)
要(yiu) 自(ji) 何(hoh) 頁(yip) 說(suet) 起(hei)

愛(oi) 太(taai) 重(chung)   深(sam) 呼(foo) 吸(kap)   欠(him) 缺(kuet) 空(hung) 氣(hei)
愛(oi) 太(taai) 美(mei)   輕(hing) 輕(hing) 的(dik)   卻(keuk) 載(joi) 不(bat) 起(hei)
愛(oi) 情(ching) 來(loi) 到(do) 時(si) 候(hau)   似(chi) 明(ming) 媚(mei) 天(tin) 氣(hei)
它(ta) 走(jau) 了(liu)   突(dat) 然(yin) 驟(jaau) 變(bin) 雪(suet) 落(lok) 雨(yue) 飛(fei)

* 如(yue) 果(gwoh) 可(hoh) 以(yi) 恨(han) 你(nei)  
全(chuen) 力(lik) 痛(tung) 恨(han) 你(nei)
連(lin) 遇(yue) 上(seung) 亦(yik) 要(yiu) 躲(doh) 避(bei)
無(mo) 非(fei) 想(seung) ( 要(yiu) ) 放(fong) 下(ha) 你(nei)  
還(waan) 是(si) 掛(gwa) 念(nim) 你(nei)
誰(sui) 又(yau) 會(wooi) 及(kap) 我(ngoh) 傷(seung) 悲(bei)
前(chin) 事(si) 最(jui) 怕(pa) 有(yau) 人(yan) 提(tai) 起(hei)
就(jau) 算(suen) 怎(jam) 麼(moh) 伸(san) 盡(jun) 手(sau) 臂(bei)
我(ngoh) 們(moon) 亦(yik) 有(yau) 一(yat) 些(se) 距(kui) 離(lei) *

你(nei) 太(taai) 遠(yuen)   該(goi) 怎(jam) 麼(moh)   說(suet) 對(dui) 不(bat) 起(hei)
你(nei) 太(taai) 近(gan)   一(yat) 轉(juen) 身(san)   卻(keuk) 已(yi) 高(go) 飛(fei)
快(faai) 樂(lok) 也(ya) 許(hui) 太(taai) 短(duen)  
似(chi) 場(cheung) 流(lau) 星(sing) 雨(yue)
一(yat) 眨(jaap) 眼(ngaan)  
就(jau) 如(yue) 幻(waan) 覺(gok) 怕(pa) 又(yau) 記(gei) 起(hei)

Repeat * ( * )

我(ngoh) 情(ching) 愿(yuen) 我(ngoh) 狠(han) 心(sam) 憎(jang) 你(nei)
我(ngoh) 還(waan) 在(joi) 記(gei) 憶(yik) 中(jung) 找(jaau) 你(nei)

Friday, December 12, 2008

If you aint got no money take your broke ass home!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

went out for lunch today solely based on one reason:


dad was bored.

Sunday, December 07, 2008

Bounced....

So you're all dressed up on a saturday night for a night out with some of your boys. You get into your jeans and put on a pair of slick clothes. You spray some cologne and rub a bit more onto your neck to make sure you smell good.

It was either Nike orAdidas since you dont own no louis vitton or Gucci. Adidas would serve you for tonite.

You get out from the car and head into the club. The guy before you got in without a moment pause and you walk casually behind him only to..



DENIED!

Bounced!

Come again? Sir, show me your i.c. please.

You're underaged sir, this club's for 23 and above only.

FUCK YOU ASSHOLE. Just because you earn a meager RM1200 per month for bouncing people doesnt give you the right to bounce people who look better and younger than you. You fat malay shit.

Sometimes having a young face really bust your balls up. Bitch!

Friday, December 05, 2008

Heaven or Hell?

What would you say if i told you that your imagination of hell is flawed? That hell is just as much of a paradise as Heaven is imagined to be? That your actions or inactions will not be judged in the afterlife?

Blasphemous? Heresy?

Im gonna use christianity in the following as it describes heaven and hell as total opposites, good vs evil.

If you dont hv a good imagination, stop reading.

What do you think if i said that the fallen archangel(i forgot his name) a.k.a. satan had not betrayed God and was not banished from heaven but was elevated into a position of God's direct opposite?

McCrazy?

If God is almighty, all powerful, and all powerful as stated in the bible, would he not hv known that his closest aide would betray him? Or do we deem God to be just like us mortals, trusting those closest to us who are in the most favourable position to betray?

I'd think not!

They key to all things is not a 100% of something but the harmonisation and balance of everything! So, for there to be good, there has to be evil for good or evil is only just a relativity.

What makes a good, good? And what makes an evil, evil? How do you know?

Who are you comparing with when you said that guy is good or that he's evil? You would say, you're comparing him from your knowledge of others or the realisation of things. What then is the benchmark of good? And where did your knowledge or realisation of that come from?

God had foreseen the prospects of allowing only good to roam in the hearts of men and what he saw displeases him. He saw everything good and perfect. He saw happiness and joy.....

He saw Heaven.

And so he created an imperfect world, a world less mundane than Heaven. A world less predictable. A world different from the one he resides in! Where the choices and decisions where not his to make and all that he could do was to watch. Like a fan watching a game, an audience watching an opera.

In this imperfect world, God spread word to his imperfect inhabitants teaching them not how things should be but how good things should be. God has created a comparision which we did not notice and we took what was fed to us with mouths wide open to be the truth.

And so the direct opposite to what God said is deemed to be evil. To be avoided, banished, despised on. Filthy and foul, unpure and sinister. The domain of the 'fallen' archangel! God made his archangel into his opposite to create imperfection, to create balance!

That every good is counter-weighed by evil. That imperfect men we given a choice to choose between two sides. Which way will men tilt the scale? But it doesnt really matter, for every man running to either side, an equal amount will run to the other.

Every good deed done foments an evil. A good or evil person dies, giving way for others to be born.

Yin and Yang! It's a never ending cycle....... a perfect balance.

Now im saying you will not be judged in the afterlife. The decisions made while you were living influences events in the mortal world only. That you will be sent to hell or heaven should not be worried upon as it's unimportant. Heaven or hell is just the same, it's the domain of God.


So am i saying that God is an asshole and he allowed there to be evil just so he can have his amusement and excitement? That we are merely pawns to bring a little unpredictability to his perfect and routine world?

Maybe i am..... maybe i am.


Note : i aint saying to go forth and fuck around and do evil.
SCREW YOU if you even let that thought develop!

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Anymore drinking in the next few days and i wont hv a working liver

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Kay Elle

Have you guys ever seen those profiles where people hype-up their details and so forth?

For instance:

Example 1: Kay Elle

Example 2: muh-lay-shear


I know there are lots of idiots around and even more idiots in the online community but come on man.

Is that your version of pimp-my-profile?

Screw the fucking hell off! It aint funny and if you're trying to look cool, YOU AIN'T! But you do look like an ignorant asshole who didnt have much of an education. Which i think is about rite.

And if you do get hits on your profile, believe me, it aint because of your 'cool-ed' or 'hyped' 'kay-elle' or whatever you idiots manage to come up with these days. It's prolly because of your photoshop-ed picture to make you look fairer, more good-looking and for the girls to make ur boobs bigger than that airport you own.

How attractive are you when you can't even spell KUALA LUMPUR correctly or is intelligent enough to simply put it as K.L. ?? You aint scoring points man, you aint scoring any points.

Kay elle... Way to go!

Sunday, November 23, 2008

2 hippos and 2 pigs...... on a court

Malaysia just wont herself a silver medal in the women's doubles category of the Chinese Open tourney. The pair of wong pei ty and chin smth smth gave a good fight b4 going down in straight sets. Heck they could even win it if they had a little more luck on their side.

But as things goes, luck usually dislikes being around fat people. Mind my bluntness.

As i watched the game unfolding before me, i saw 2 hippos running around the court and played with skill. They were against 2 pigs who had skills too. Now seeing 2 hippos + 2 pigs on so small a court isnt very pleasing but curiosity is a damn thing. How can those 4 fat things be so agile? Kudo's to the malaysian pair for being fatter, but still is as agile. HOW CAN THAT HAPPEN?

Being athletes means you're suppose to be fit which means u dont hv much excess fat which means ur body should be lean..... RIGHT?? unless you're a sumo, big is beautiful!

I dont mean to say that you hv to be thin but damn it, u cant hv 3 layers on your body man. Are you competing to be human 'sam chang yuk'?

But boy of boy can those hippos run around the court. The court is small but them being able to move about quickly to return the cocks... i mean shuttlecocks is no small feat. Which makes me wonder, how these 2 fat bitches can play so well and run around the court with so much fat hanging?

unless....... those fats are actually hidden oxygen tanks T.T. They might even make me eat their dust in running. Or their excess fat.

Hippo 1 : EAT! Eat it all up and make me look less like a hippo and more like a pig! EAT!
Hippo 2: No, no.. take me! Take me!

Thats not very pleasant.

Im suddenly feeling rather bad for talking bout fat ppl so i shall stop before i insult anymore. May god strike the next fat girl i see as punishment. T.T

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Silence

安静An jing
Composer: Jay Chou (周杰倫) (周杰伦)
Lyricist: Jay Chou (周杰倫) (周杰伦)



*只剩下钢琴陪我谈了一天
zhi sheng xia gang qin pei wo tan le yi tian
睡着的大提琴
shui zhao de da ti qin
安静的旧旧的
an jing de jiu jiu de

我想你已表现的非常明白
wo xiang ni yi biao xian de fei chang ming bai
我懂我也知道
wo dong wo ye zhi dao
你没有舍不得
ni mei you she bu de

你说你也会难过我不相信
ni shuo ni ye hui nan guo wo bu xiang xin
牵着你陪着我
qian zhe ni pei zhe wo
也只是曾经
ye zhi shi ceng jing
希望他是真的比我还要爱你
xi wang ta shi zhen de bi wo hai yao ai ni
我才会逼自己离开
wo cai hui bi zi ji li kai*

#
你要我说多难堪
ni yao wo shuo duo nan kan
我根本不想分开
wo gen ben bu xiang fen kai
为什麽还要我用微笑来带过
wei shen me hai yao wo yong wei xiao lai dai guo
我没有这种天份
wo mei you zhe zhong tian fen
包容你也接受他
bao rong ni ye jie shou ta
不用担心的太多
bu yong dan xin de tai duo
我会一直好好过
wo hui yi zhi hao hao guo

你已经远远离开
ni yi jing yuan yuan li kai
我也会慢慢走开
wo ye hui man man zou kai
为什麽我连分开都迁就着你
wei shen me wo lian fen kai dou qian jiu zhu ni
我真的没有天份
wo zhen de mei you tian fen
安静的没这麽快
an jing de mei zhe me kuai
我会学着放弃你
wo hui xue zhe fang qi ni
是因为我太爱你
shi yin wei wo tai ai ni.#

Repeat *##