BLACKLISTED

He's so lucky that on his 1st day...

....Our glorious country has been blacklisted by the OECD for being a tax haven and hence a scourge to the new banking method.

OECD = Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development.

Read Here !!!!

Thats some heavy shit, since being blacklisted means countries would try to avoid doing business with us because THEY'll lose out on Tax Revenue to Us. Now since we aint a big-assed trading partner to anyone or are we close to being considered a vital trade partner to any country so this blacklist MIGHT carry from adverse effect.

But then being a tax haven, corporations wil surely consider doing business with us because they wont have to pay as much tax compared to if they do it elsewhere. Hmmmmmmm........?

All our Glorious Prime Minister of our Glorious country said was: "We should not be in that category as, in practice, we have been committed to OECD requirements," he said in a statement. "

Ughhhh, Yes Mr. Prime Minister. I'm sure your words carry alot of weight, Oh Glorious One.

Alas, im pretty sure the OECD will be obliged to agree. They wouldn't want to be blown to bits now would they?

GPM says Fuck you, you mongolian p*ssies!

GPM = Glorious Prime Minister.

plz no ISA T.T

Rain Warriors

After pulling an all-nighter for that dumbassed-lk-2 units-scoring-only A minus-anyway- and sleeping thru the whole day, one's energy level is serious sapped.

Playing RAIN WARRIORS with 2 other guys and 2 girls at 6pm after volleyball was no fun at all. Where and if you need help warring the rain. We will come, with wet t-shirts and undies to your rescue!

Featuring Kok huat as CloudAss, Kit Hock the WindDick, Katherine as StormBeech, Siew Cheng the ThunderBoobs and David as RainWuss.

We cannot call the rain to stop but we can get drenched for you! Dial 1-800-rainwarriors-888 now for assistance! Standard caller charges apply.

Rain, oh why did you lighten before dropping your whole shitload down on us? WHY give us FAKE HOPE??????? Bitch....


But i'm happy now.

because i have McD!!

FIllet O fish baby.

Yeah, you noobs can drool all you want! Pffft

Names are wholly made up. I take no responsibilities!!!

Green

Orientation is a go.

Now the work begins.

Earth Hour 60

If we have another, we're allowed to splurge. But we dont!

EARTH HOUR. Turning off your lights for an hour tonite at 8.30 to 9.30 to do your part to conserve energy and save the environment!! Will be participating tonite!!

Since any gadget that has a screen emits light, that should be turned off too instead of just your table lamps or ceiling lights. And that's exactly what i'll be doing. My laptop and phone will be off during that period.

Do your part too!
Protect the environment, save the world!!!


I shall have a one hour slumber.

apexation?

Apparently apex regulates that orientation needs to be reduced to the minimal and terminated all together for schools. The deputy dean said he'll think about it and will let me know on monday if it's a go.

Whaddaheck.

Project Manager

I've been chosen to be the project manager for next year's orientation of the civil noobs. This is would be a rather fun and exciting experience.

My selection came as a surprise for i didnt even know a year 2(next year) would be left in charge for orientating the 1st years. Shouldnt that be a job for the year 3(next year)?? Hmmmm....

Wait a minute, that would be me!!!

The job was thrown to me as unexpectedly as having a snake slither up your shit hole while you're taking a dump. BS!

But hey, i aint passing up on such a new and challenging task. Boo Yah!!!

The first obstacle i met was in setting up my committee. I was expecting much agreement when i was selecting my members but alas, some was busy or had other obligations and some refused. Furthermore, i didnt want my committee to be fully chinese. I just find there's smth wrong with that. I asked the malay guys to participate only to find none would. The only consolation was the activity of the malay girls. Kudos.

Loves hating you people.

Gotta start planning the orientation week and im looking for a new concept to orientating the noobs. Last years sucked so bad it was boring. I dont know what im looking for yet but i'm confident we can come up with smth smart and fun. Bitch-slapped if we dont!!!

If any of you have any ideas to contribute, please post a comment or send an e-mail. I could get all the help i need. Thanx and God Speed!

F1! F1! F........

Afterburners

I'm in a 400m race and i tripped and fell at the 100m's mark. Everyone is zooming ahead and the finishing line aint coming closer to me. I'll just have to pick myself up and run faster than before to make up for lost time.

Knowing that you could finish 1st yet still failing to do is one of the suckiest feeling ever.

And im not about to let myself feel that once again.

They just dont..

Man utd just lost 2-0 to fulham and thats a huge blow to having a secure title.

But i aint blogging bout football, less my friends come raining down with words.

As i was watching the first half, a question came to me.

What is so captivating about watching 22 men chase after a ball with the goal post so big, it makes it almost too easy to score.

*notice no question mark*

What i was curious about. Why cant women grasp the beauty and the excitement of watching a football game on tv like us men do?

Ughhhhh??? I was sure there were WMD!

I think it's because women dont listen! Yeap, a very simple answer to a difficult question.

What makes watching football so enjoyable for us is that we not only understand the game, we open our ears and listen to the commentators. They have to be rather good at their job and their commentating is what adds up to our excitement level. Their speech gets faster and louder as the balls gets near the post and ends with a GOOOAALLLLL; if it really culminates to that.

Women normally dont listen that well, heck sometimes they dont even listen at all. Try having a heated argument with the female species and you will understand how hard is it to REASON with them. Even if you have all the solid evidence and reasoning, you can never make her understand.

This is sorely based on the nature of women when arguing with men:
a) You're always wrong
b) She's always right
c) Why cant YOU understand HER point instead of her seeing the valid reason and evidence that is provided.

Since they dont understand the game that well and they watch with their ears closed, they cant sense the excitement of the game. They cant hear the quicken speech nor sense the tension and anticipation of what's going to happen next.

It's as though, they are watching a mime.

If only they can hear themselves.

Dont really believe me? Try watching a game with the volume muted.

Out of the Blue

If they're sincere, they will come and beg me to take your number.


*edited from ms*


Words of wisdom

Tags are created by Girls! I am CONFIDENT!

I am 100% sure that tags are created by girls. Only they could think of smth so sinister!!!

001. Real Name: Yap Wooi Hong
002. Nickname(s): Hmmm, i'm an ass, occasionally an asshole and sometimes a bitch.
003. Age: Old enough to date your mom.
004. Horoscope: Virgoan libra.
005. Male or Female: Male
006. Elementary School: Sek. Sri Bunga Raya.
007. Middle School: I only have primary and secondary in my dictionary. =\
008. High School: Victoria Institution
009. College School: funny.. this is like university ucsi
010. Hair colour: Black
011. Long or Short: nicht lang
012. Loud or Quiet: depends
013. Sweats or Jeans: Jeans
014. Phone or Camera: Ipod baby.
015. Health Freak: I masturbate daily to prevent prostate cancer. counts rite?
016. Drink or Smoke: Bottoms up!!
017.Do you have a crush on someone: If there were more girls in campus i might. No wait, more quality girls.
018. Eat or Drink: Dont drink on an empty stomach. We DINE then we BOTTOMS UP!
019. Piercings: Nien
020. Tattoos: Always wanted one
021. Social or Anti-Social: Friendly if you are =)
022. Righty or lefty: ambidextrous..... i wish
023. First piercing: nien
024. First relationship: i forgot when -_-
025. First Best Friend: Winson!
026. First Award: drattzzzzz... dont judge me.
027. First Kiss: STD 2. YOU did it on purpose and YOU KNOW IT!
028. First Pet: i kept changing i forgot their names. My current is zaizai.
029. First Big Vacation: LA! was so excited i couldnt sleept the nite b4 and slept the whole flight. We being chinese, i got screwed for not stealing toiletries. I WAS ONLY 9!!! T.T
030. First Love at first sight: were we that?
031. First Big Birthday: full moon. Im chinese!
032. First Surgery: Primary 5!
033. First sport you joined: Football.... *To Victorians* Yea yea.. screw you!

Boom!

This or That
034. Orange or Apple juice: Apple
035. Rock or Rap: Rock?
036. Country or Screamo: Country
037. NSYNC or Backstreet boys: But im helpless when she smiles!
038. Britney spears or Christina Aguilera: Choosing btw a hoe and bitch. Be my guest.
039. Night or Day: That would depend on the activity(s) involved.
040. Sun or Moon: Sun
041. TV or Internet: Internet!
042. Playstation or xbox: I'll take a portable gaming rig. Thx!
043. Kiss or hug: Both
044. Iguana or turtle: What the flying fuck?
45. Spider or bee: Refer to above.
046. Fall or spring: Spring
047. Limewire or iTunes: iTunes
048. Soccer or baseball: Confirmation: Creator is a Yankee skank with too much time.

It takes only a needle.

Currently
049. Eating: My hate for tags.
050. Drinking: My despise for tag
051. Excitement level: POTONG STIM by tags
052. I'm about to: Dream about beautiful dreams.
053. Listening to: Please just take this photos from my hand.
054. Plan for today: Ways to get back at those who tagged me.
055. Waiting for: World peace. Stupid skank.
056. Energy Level: Tanked because of tags
057. Thinking of someone: Pretty sure she came into my mind.
058. Want kids?: Skank
059. Want to get married?: But we just met dear.
060. When?: when your face depreciates and your assets diminish.
061. How many kids do you want: God told me to move forth and multiply. A sin to disobey. T.T
062. Any name on the mind: nien
063. What do you want to do: Kill, no thats too kind. Torture siew cheng and william.
065. Mellow future or wild: Wild!!!
066. Something you would never try: Hitting on my friend's mom.
067. When do you want to die: When all around is dead. I'll move forth and multiply.

Which is the better in the boy/girl you like(in the future)
068. Lips or Eyes: The shine in your eyes is the brightest light.
069. Romantic or Funny?: As long as you're not boring =)
070. Shorter or Taller?: Shorter than me plz. I dont want to stand on a stool to kiss you.
071. Protective or Caring?: If i need your protection, you're either A) my parents or B) a condom.
072. Romantic or Spontaneous?: Refer to 69..
073. Nice Stomach or Nice Arms?: If you're fat.... wait who are you again?
074. Sensitive or Loud?: A lil of both plz.
075. Hook-up or Relationship?: Relationship.
076. Trouble Maker or Hesitant?: Knows how to have fun.
077. Muscular or normal: Stupid yankee skank.

.........

Have you ever...
078. Kissed a stranger: no
079. Broken a bone: Yes
080. Lost glasses or contacts: I need extra hands!
081. Ran away from home: You'll want my life.
082. Held a gun/knife for self defence: Yes, That apple was going to KILL ME!!!!
083. Killed somebody: Dumb skank.
084. Broken some one's heart: Yes.
085. Had your heart broken: Yes
086. Been arrested: Kopi works wonders.
087. Cried when someone died: Yes
088. Liked a friend more than a friend: Platonics remain platonics.

Do you believe in
089. Yourself: Confident asshole.
090. Miracles: Yes
091. Love at first sight: She must be real beautiful.
092. Heaven: I'm going downwards anway.
093. Santa Claus: Is it summer already?
094. Tooth Fairy: Yankee skank.
095. Kiss in the first date: I must've brought my A game.
096. Angels: Oh i was dating one but then she dumped me. T.T

Answer Truthfully
097. Is there 1 person you want to be with right now? Like i said, she dumped me. T.T
098. Are you seriously happy with where you're in life now? Happiness is a relativity
099. Do you believe in God? Kuan yin plz pull me back to Heaven when i die. T.T and leave all my other fuckers down there. Thank You! Ngek ngek ngek.
100. Post as 100 truths and tag 10 people.

Oh i aint tagging 10. That would be too nice and i'll have to live up to my nicknames. 'GOOD' things are meant to be shared anyway.

Every single one of you who read this and who owns a blog you gotta do this. YOU'RE TAGGED!!!

ubermen, you're included.

For those who dont have a blog, type it down in Microsoft word or notepad then send it to ME. I'll post it up FOR you.

I love you guys too. Have a nice life!

Out of The Blue

If you feel guilty about going on a vacation by airplane, you can pay someone to offset your carbon footprint. E.g you're paying some1 else not to fly.

I wonder then if you can pay someone to give you some time?
E.g. He offsets his time with you getting some of his.

Now time would really mean gold.

Quickie to Ipoh

Ipoh is a city for old men. It's surroundings are so peaceful and quiet you'll think it doesn't deserve to be the capital of perak. But recently it had been more eventful and thus deserves more attention. Many thanks to Mr. Zambry and Mr.Nizar, both every enthusiastic entertainers. *Bumps*

Seeing how things are meting out, we had to make a trip there. Tommy was bragging too much bout Ipoh's delicious food that we have had enough of hearing and must try it for ourselves.

At noon on friday we took the Parit buntar - Taiping and then the Taiping - Ipoh 'Express' bus. It was sooooo damn comfortable that they had to turn off the air cond to make it a lil uncomfortable for the passengers. And it wasnt express at all. 3 of us made the trip, clement, myself and tommy was our host.


Tommy was a good host and his family were even better. His mom's cooking was so stimming we almost came in our pants. I'm so gonna ask for the recipe to her 'lou chu kiok'. *drools*.

We had a whole list of things we wanna eat. Alas, since ipoh is the city for old men, most of it is for breakfast and they're so good they close b4 11.

Qn :What the heck do you all eat at nite?
Ans: We cook.

-case closed-

Okay, we ate quite a number but i only managed to remember to take pictures of 2. These are the stimmest shit ever for their kind.

No.1 - Funny Mountain Tau foo fa.


The texture of the beancurd was so smooth that;
Qoute: "It's so smooth that when a fly parks there, it will slip off!"

The taste was perfect and the aroma especially stimming. The sugar syrup wasnt overly sweet and was just right if not perfect for the beancurd. Funny Mountain beancurd normally closes at around 4 in the afternoon after only a few hours of business. If you're going there, you MUST stop by, it's the stimmest shit ever, stimmest!!! Oh, it's RM0.80 per bowl and RM1.70 if you take away.

No.2 Beancurd Drink

At the same stall, 'tau cheong shui' This wasnt as good as the beancurd for me. Nevertheless you can expect it to have good quality since they use the same beans. RM 1.70 per bottle.

No.3 Nam Fatt Noodle Shop


Had this for dinner last night. It's dry curry mee, comes with 'siu yuk' but i forego the meat. Ordered fried stuff like wantan, prawn roll and etc.

Now, the one on my spoon is called 'Fish Mai'. It's actually just fried fish ball but it's not just any fried fish ball. It's THE friend fish ball. I thought the fish ball noodles at Jln Loke Yew serves the best damn fish ball ever, this Fish Mai hammered it to 2nd place without a fight.

Altho fried, it maintains the juiciness and the tanginess of the fish. The texture of the meat was excellent. You dont even need any sauce or gravy. Stimmest fish ball ever, that is until the find a better one. ;-)

Gotta make another trip to Ipoh and try the ones we've missed out. Prolly during the hols if possible. Ipoh is the city for old men, those old men cooking might just leave this world and i wouldnt get to taste their cooking even when i get old.

Time is against us!

For a laugh.

He know's the value of persistence... XD


click HERE!!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7917137.stm

What in the horses.....?

We've all been there when it happens, sometimes we might even be the ones who are doing it. It doesnt matter how old or what you're doing, there would definitely be people who would be doing it.

Maybe they do it unconsciously, maybe they really do believe in what they were saying themselves. Who knows?

Okay, what the heck am i talking about?

You guys came out from the exam hall and you gather around with your friends for awhile to talk about what just happen. You might be discussing the questions tested or just waiting about for you friends to leave.

Nthg wrong there.

But as the conversation progresses, you hear from at least one person how they are gonna fail and how crappy they feel. I bet that person cant even rmbr 1/4 of his/her answers yet here he/she is fretting bout how badly he/she has done and how it's all fucked up.

You play either 3 roles here:
a) You just shut the hell up
b) You console the fella telling him/her that failure wont occur
c) You join in with that asshole

Nthg wrong there either, IF THAT REALLY HAPPENS! ;-)

Instead, when the results are out, he/she which was fretting bout failing scored better than you did or heck, got an A grade. Good for him/her really but i gotta say...

What In The Horses Mouth Just Happened?

I really dont get it when people start fretting bout failing right after exiting the exam hall. What are you seeking? Solace? Consolation? Or just to make people feel shitty when you laugh at their sorry asses when you fared better? IF you think you did so damn badly, do what i do SHUT THE FUCK UP AND JUST EMO!

I mean, does making yourself sound dumb or giving an impression that you did badly excites you? Or rather, you purposely did so to make yourself feel better when you see your results better than your dismayed expectations?

It's like lying to yourself and putting yourself down and predicting the worse to enable yourself to rejoice when your results are less poor. If you really wanna do that, why cant you do it in the bathroom? Why do you have to announce it out loud?

all this reminds me of a story....

It was back in form 6 and we just got back our maths results for the mid term. I had no expectations as long as i did not fail and i was damn close to achieving just that. So me and my friends who sucked just as excellently started chatting away.

Sitting infront of me was Mr. Big Head and he was saddened by his results. He expected better. Suddenly, the girl sitting next to him started to pull a long face and if i rmbr-ed correctly she started to cry.

okay, girls, cry, results. All the right ingredients.

Mr. Big Head started consoling her and trying to make her to stop wetting the table. Saying all those nice things that people like to hear. Like ecstacy for the soul, you sick assholes. Anyway, what blew my balls off and i couldnt stop laughing was that this girl scored a high B+ where as Mr. Big Head was nowhere near her marks.

There it was, one dumb asshole, consoling a 'smart' person who think she was dumb. It was so ironic that i couldn't stop fucking Mr. Big Head for being dumber than he really was.

Why the heck would he console a person who fared better than himself when even he felt like shit and needed consoling?


I might try to understand you people, but i definitely wont try to like you. ;-)

If you who are reading this belong to the group i just described, Seek Medical Attention immediately. You are SICK!


Damn it, these 2 words just came into my mind and it might just describe you people exactly.

Attention Whores!

Failure

Ahhh.. Failed..... miserably.

We won nevertheless.

Rebound King

My back is killing me! Arching it backwards generates pain that it auto corrects itself. It prolly caused by my jumping around too much for volleyball and basketball.

Yesterday's semi-final match was a disgrace for me. Didnt contribute much cept for running around with no direction to go. Couldnt even take any rebounds. WTF? I'm 100% sure i could jump higher than any one them but i couldnt reach for shit.

I think it's my hurting back. Bitch!!!

Gonna play in the finals today, and i vow to myself to control the rebounds. RAWR!!! I wanna be rebound king! RAWR!!!

Will update later or tmrw.

Please take these photos from my hands

Note the notes.

My phone rang at 0800 hours a few days back with the asshole calling my dei. I dont care who he might be but anyone who gives me a call before 1000 hours are just plain assholes.

There aint anything that's important enough to disturb my sleep!

Anyway, the registered caller was one vivek. A Big asshole this one! What he told me was so exciting that i almost came in my sleep. VI was awarded the National Heritage Status. The first ever school to be presented with that! WOW, that's so fucking important to disturb my sleep with eh?

I guess it's only appropriate to give something so old, so historical, so dead, a status it deserves. VI has earned her place of preservation through the excellent results and past achievements. She will be preserved for she can no longer sustain that pattern.

The waterfall of the standard of the school was so quick, so deadly, that nthg could be done to stop it.

Paid a visit once when i got back a mth ago. Scaled the walls with liks while waiting for husni to arrive. Those lost some balls after so many years, re-scaling the school walls sure was fun. and i digress...

We got to look at the Form 1 class list and it was not surprising to see the school kept up with self-destruction. Out of 28 students, 20 names were malay, 6 chinese and 2 indians - on average. I aint racist aight.. okay, i at least dont want to appear to be racist but we have to face the facts that non-malays are the major ones contributing to the academic excellence to the school.

Note: Major, not wholly.

The malays are mostly good for sports and playing around with some fucking around... literally. And a small minority who actually study to score A's. Look, you cant blame people who got used to being spoon-fed! You just cant expect them to suddenly change to be hardworking after entering a 'prestigous' school.

Not: mostly and some.. not all.

The only thing left i want from my school is........... my testimonial. It's time we stop to even think about her for she's not worth it.




Disclaimer: Content is not intended to induce self-hatred or used in any way to call the blogger a racist. If you feel insulted in any way, please be assured that the blogger..does not feel sorry.

Today im keeping it short.

You're not alone in this, you do have friends.

Leaves that tell.

Give work to a busy man!