Happy Ox Year!!

Happy Chinese New Year people.

We're stepping into the Year of the Ox.

What is the difference between an Ox, a Bull and a Goat? If you said spelling or pronounciation, then please, you're invited to my house for hoi lin!!

My house is open everyday, anytime!

Let me take this opportunity to be the nice person that i am, to wish you all:

Unrivaled Happiness!

Bountiful harvest and wealth!

Good health and the rigority of youth to use it!

Intelligence! (many of you are lacking)

and

the luck to achieve whatever that you strive for.

Happy Ox Year!!

There goes the pineapple!

I feel good! I feel good!

If i keep telling myself that, i will!

Had been consigned to my rock hard bed for 2 days straight that i only leave it to satisfy the feeling of wanting to shit.

Having gastric is one thing, having stomach pains that move around like a fucking roller coaster is a whole new level of bullshit. To increase the psychological distress of my mind, i convinced myself that there's one big ass tapeworm inside of me.

That's why you're having pains all over your stomach!
Thats why you're so weak suddenly.
Thats why you eat so much b4 yet u aint growing.!
That's why.....

I feel good! I feel Good!

Went to the uni's clinic to get some meds and somehow i got conn-ed by the indian nurses to screened me. I told her how i feel and all she said was

nurse: okay, this is the best deal, take it.... and go!
me: uhhhhhh?
nurse: take it.... and go!
me: okay..

So instead of wanting meds to shit my empty stomach out, i got some for wind instead. Mixture of Magnesium Trisilicate.

I feel good! I feel good!

Things peaked yesterday when i see my 20 bucks worth of pizza spewing outta my mouth like a fire hose. Oh, there goes the cheese! Hmmm, that taste that Hawaiian chicken! Crap, there goes the pineapple.

WAIT A MINUTE. That taste familiar! Oh My God! It's island supreme!!!!

Okay, it didnt just exploded out aight. I bought a pack of 5 of Yakult with 30 billion live lactobaccillius bacteria! 30 billion! That outta to be enough to kill whatever is inside my tummy rite? Mwahahahhahaah.........

Happily, i downed all 5. In a span of 30 minutes. 150 billion lacto's gonna be a good fuck indeed. Indeed, i did take a small dump. Afterwhich i lied on my bed for an hour before walking to the bathroom with a roll of tissue in hand. I was about to pull down my pants when.

me1: *This dont feel right*
me2: *I think it's gonna come out of the wrong hole*
me1: *I think you're right*

I feel good! I feel good!

150 billion lacto's blocked my colon exit and forced things to go the other way.

Things took a turn... for the worse after that. Water in is water out the same hole it went in. 100 plus in is 100 plus out the same hole it went it. Magnesium Trisilicate in is Magnesium Trisilicate out the same hole.

but, i feel good! i feel good!

Nevertheless, things peaked yesterday and im feeling way better today. Still couldnt finish a bowl of noodles yet but that tasted almost as bad as my vomit.

Oooh, that's the mushroom from the mushroom soup!

Yay, i got an impostor

Though faced with endless insults cum persuasion i have stood my ground and has been living without a facebook account where almost every1 else has one.

Even my 12 year old cousin has one. I should be living in a cave!

Anyway, while deleting my junk i came across a few messages..




Why do i have notifications from facebook when i dont even have an account??

So it's either:

a) Facebook has spam.
B) we got an impostor in our midst.

Considering how facebook is a social website, the probability of spam is rather high but they hv lots of ppl doing anti-spam. So.......

Now this is rather like a tinge of lemon, who the heck would want to impose as me? Does he\she loves me that much that he/she tries to be me? Good luck trying...

Or rather that person hates me so much that he's using my ass as his front to do sh!ts to my friends thinking i'll get spiked in the end. If that's the case, gotta give that person a hand. I commend your enthusiasm and applaud your stupidity. Once again, good luck trying.

I cant think of any1 who would wanna do that..... wait actually i can..

and the No.1 prime suspect:
Chris

coz he's feeling like me.


If any of u is still wondering, NO i don't have a facebook account. Whoever that is, accept his/her invite and hv fun with that person. Just dont screw too deep.

Have fun facebook-ing people.






you social losers.

Happy New Year people!