1240 hours

Work Work Work. I am remorseful that im the culpri who didnt typed the necessary letter to the ministry to request permission to hold a carnival. YES i did type one to them but that was to sell coupons. How the fuck did i forget the most important letter? Did i forget? or maybe i grew lazy during one of those days.

Hopefully things will work out nicely. I believe that there are solutions to every problem. I just hv to search a lil harder or when I cant solve it ourselves, I need to ask for help. Pn. Vasantha will be heading over to jabatan tmrw or on wednesday and im s'pose to tag along with liks to present our letters and proposal and pray to the gods that the guy's in a jolly good mood or maybe feeling a lil clarkson that day.

Ahhhhhhh, so i changed the teachers list after recommendations from teachers and it was...... @@ <-- my eyes that is. Too many names.. all too similar with muhd, mohd kanagasundaram,kanaga, lin, lim... no offense but when u're looking at 100 over names with several double entry, it raises ur blood pressure by a notch or 2. Took me bout an hour arranging and sorting out their depts, and their respective dept heads. Hadta guess which will do work and who will not too since.. well need all the help we can get now.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Allow me to introduce to u a companion of mine. He's kinda old and dusty but it's still working fine. Frankly, i think it's more like a she coz her temperament is... unpredictable.

Yes, it's running on ribbons. Just look at the head, WTF happened to technology?

The alignment has to be set manually by turning that stupid knob at the side. It's time consuming and pissing off coz u hv to do it manually.

And before u can print, u hv to select the text 1st. (yes, this is the sponsorship reply letter >.<)

Then only can u press cltr-p and select print selection and one copy. JUST LOOK AT HOW ADVANCE THIS THING IS, AND THE AMOUNT OF TIME 'SAVED' !!!!

Oh, even tho u canceled a proposed print before it started. Press pause and it'll print that same document 1st before realizing a lil too late that it was canceled and start printing on the new document. Kinda like ms. alien eh? Blur!



Did i mention that only ONE page can be printed at ONE time? Took me 30 mins to print 35 pages.

All in all, im still thankful to hv this old faithful. It worked when my modern canon inkjet printer conked out or when.... nvm. Lets just say that i owe my letters to him...her......him...her.......her....

0110 hours

It's 1.10 in the morning and i desperately need some shut eye. I'd just finished sending mails requesting flyfm and hitz.fm to help publicize VI carnival 2007 and also that their troopers\cruisers come join our party. Funny how, in their effort to be differrent, they use 2 differents words to describe the same thing. Wonder how things will be if both of em showed up for our event. Hmmm, wouldnt really matter, sch's big enough to fit the both of em and we'll just put them at opposite ends.

What;s pissing off is that i'll be having physics class at 8.30 in the morning but i'll be waking u at 7 to print documents then head to sch to get the b.p. pengetua chop and hand over letters to pn. Darlilah to give it to some ex p.k. of our sch working in the ministry now.

Troubles arose and solutions are somewhere yet to be found. It will be found nonetheless. Not everything seems to be they way their are. As thesaying goes, "Believe none u hear and half that u see" What we were seeing, we were told, recently werent really the truth or it was the manipulating of it. But then again, if the saying is true then we cant really believe what we are hearing now can we? Oh well, whatever comes, comes and we will face it with our spartan shields for we will give them nthg, but take from them EVERYTHING. This carnival will only be successful. Nthg less!

Job Offer

My parents love to test my confidence. Apparently I’m an arrogant snob who’s too confident of himself. So I told them that i’ll be slacking on my mid-term but promising to start studying after June during which both carnival and campfire will be done for. They understand, im sure they did but that didnt stop them for busting my ass anyway.
“If you don’t get straight A’s for ur stpm u can come work in my store” has been jackhammered to my ears over n over again. It’s not that it’s impossible eventho it is really but the perks of working in their office just cant be seen. For 1, there aint no air-cond in the store and the only company I’ll be getting is from the 4 walls n spare parts who only manages to stare blankly back.
Furthermore, my parents office seems to be situated in oblivion. There is only ONE comp which my mom uses to type her doc. & that’s only a p3. The only telecommunication service detected is the land line and well, mobile devices since it’s already ubiquitous. Streamyx seems to hv missed my dad’s office for some zealotry reason or maybe he’s just too cheap to use it. Altho he subscribed for a celcom 3g wireless line which he recently upgraded to 1MB. Oh my, the bandwith wasted on a –stuffed-11 months pregnant-man-who has about 10% comp. literacy. He uses it only to analyse the stockmarket with his not-so-keen eyes and maybe to read on some political shit happening in our country. But then again, almost everything that happens in our country is political, look at the burst pipes flooding our gov. offices. Who would’ve thought MONEY had a part.

Top these up with the fact that zaizai acts as if he owns the office. Every customer has to pass his test which is very simple actually. Ignore and u get barked at, pat him and he shuts the **** up.
My parents like to work their employee’s to the max. I know, becoz I aint one. But they occasionally ask for my help to ‘pun for’ when a shipment arrives. Yea, they use the fit one instead of exercising the fat one sitting at home in front of MY com playing MY game. But then again, he’s weak anyway.
Their work is tiring and I don’t know how they do it but they manage to do it anyway. And I think their pretty good at their work too since well, I aint eating white rice+ curry.
I really don’t mind them busting my ass once in awhile but too frequent a prod turns the ‘prodded’ into a beast. I know they meant to do good, hey, a lil insult here, a lil salt on ur wound there does wonders rite? Besides, I might be really contemplating the job offer.

Soft & lovely

I lost smth very important 2 days ago and i want to regain it quite badly indeed.

I told u that it was smth red, but when i think a lil harder, i find it to be more reddish-pink.

It's size is small for it wouldnt be as attractive if it was a lil bigger.

It's shaped long n oval and if im not wrong, it's pseudo-splitted into 2.

It' s smth soft and lovely yet powerful where it's mere presence changes the bleakest into smth worth apprehending.

I thought i noticed it's re-emergence today. But i think i'll hv to search a lil harder for it. After all, it was 2 days ago when i lost it!

XD

=)

This is my dog, zai zai. No wait... he's not MY dog. He's my dad's 3rd son.


Apparently he took over my place as the treasure son at home. I hate him!


And i hate him even more for being a poser. He gets on my nerves!!



And this is bulldog baby who manages to get on HIS nerve. Muahahaha....

The other guy

As I was taking a leak in the toilet this very evening itself, a sudden thought came to me. It might be my conscience speaking but then again this type of thinking almost always show up at the weirdest of times.

“The only reason im not tensed up and hving this no frails attitude is becoz I could not comprehend the severity of my failure!”

That might be right tho, at least to a certain extent. I hv already set my mind on the fact that I’ll flop this exam and will or can only start studying after June when all the co-curricular ends. At the same time however, there’s a constant knocking right at the back of my head which tells me that if I cant even handle mid-term how am I gonna handle STPM?

This fuels a debate within me and I sometimes think I hv 2 different personalities with totally opposite thoughts and preferences. It’s weird that I know what I should do but I wouldn’t do it or if I did, it’ll be too late. Then that other guy will come busting my ass for not doing what I knew I should’ve done. Or if I did smth wrong, he’ll come running to kick my ass for doing smth so stupid which I know I shouldn’t hv done. Hmmmmm…..

I hv studied today however, and im planning to study again for a lil bit. In btw now and then tho, I spent a few hours dota-ing, and another hour sleeping. I hv the tendency to console myself by saying failure is just another step towards success but blardy hell, failure is a very very small step indeed IF you don’t do anything to correct the wrong.

So once again, it’s not that I don’t know what to do. Some guy inside of me is just preventing me from doing it or making me procrastinate till it’s too late. After all, he told me that maybe I just couldn’t comprehend failure which is truly quite foreign.

Stupid

-Post has been removed by David-

Walking like a duck

A sudden craziness took over and I decided rather unwittingly to go for a jog. It was 4.30 and I just got home from a tiring day at sch playing salesman. I ran till I couldn’t run anymore then I continued to walk. When the pancit-ness left me, I continued running again and when I couldn’t run anymore I still continued to run. I jogged for 2 hrs with my ipod playing in my ears and it was mind-clearing.

My muscle aches and it’s been aching for 2 days. Ascending & descending stairs takes quite a lot of effort and if I want to minimize the pain, I’ll walk like a duck. I’ll prolly do it again tho, when my leg’s all better. I think I’ll prolly only run again next week or smth. It’s relaxing in a strange way and it helps to clear things up a lil.

But then again, mid term starts tmrw and lasts for a week. SO I don’t think I’ll hv the time to go jogging. Not only do I NOT want this exam to be held, I am unprepared for it. The past month has been busying myself with carnival work and playing about. I hv not spent any time studying and will prolly flop this @#%# exam.

There aint no regrets tho, when I look back in a while, I’ll be beaming with terpaksa bangga-ness for I managed to juggle all these co-curricular activities and scoring for stpm. Just hvta wait for it! =)

Bummers

I am now officially defunct! I cant work, im engrossed in the thoughts of others and the urge to study or to play is just lost. It seems that I’ve lost interest in things I use to lose myself in. But losing interest in gaming is seriously more a boon than anything else. First of, I no longer destroy my own eyes with strenuous rapid eye movement to detect the slightest of movement on the mini map, nor do I waste hours clicking the nails off my fingers which is the sacrifice I pay to hv higher sensitivity. It also leaves me time to perform other activities. But what else can I do when I don’t even wanna do anything else?

I’ve actually found the root of this problem and it’s a lil ‘kik sau’ to begin with. The solution seems to be lost with Atlantis while the problems kept on piling and piling till u wont be able to see Timbuktu. Or maybe It’ll cover up the whole south coast and shield us from the view of s’pore which is all so small? Hmmmmm, not a bad preposition but I don’t hv so many problems to begin with.

The best I can do now is to just slog it thru and to ‘hold on when u feel like letting go, hold on it is better than u know’ Yea good charlotte, san kiu for giving us We Believe too! To come n think of it, I found the cause but not the problem itself. It seems to delude me everytime I search for it’s rieatsu but I know it’s there. Where else would this mess arise from? Hmmmm, or maybe it’s just me causing of these? Bummmers.

If things were as straight forward as a rail way track, it wouldn’t be so fun and exciting to indulge in. Why? Becoz u already know where u’re going and how u’re gonna get there. There are no deviations, no changes and no surprises. Wouldn’t that be a bore?

SIGNS

Wow, im just in the mood to crap. This will be my 3rd post for the day and I dunno wtf has gotten into me. I think it’s the weather, or prolly becoz circumstances forced me to be a lil extra cockstories. Since the treadmill is out of order for a lil while more, and studying will bore me to death, I just have to channel my energy thru smth else.
Signs are important as it tells a person where to go and where he should be heading. Why do u think we have signs on our roads anyway? If a person is unsure how to get somewhere, he only hv to ask a walking roadmap (like danny) or get a real map or just look at the signs. Can u imagine driving on roads without signs? We’ll be like wild dogs roaming the savana’s and tracking our way about thru the scent of our urine. Absolutely Absurd!!
However, signs might be confusing too. It’s best that u know indefinitely where u’re heading and how to get there. If u don’t, problems might arise. Imagine getting lost and u’re heading to point C when actually u wanted to go to point B. But when u look at the signs, it only shows direction to point A and point D but not to point B. Then what do u do? Well, like any other person, u’ll prolly try ur luck by flipping a coin to follow either route A or route D. Good luck coz both might lead u to Timbuktu. So it’s best to just stop there and wave down some kind Samaritan and ask for direction, although u might find another blind mice and then u’ll hv blind mice following another blind mice.
So signs, it’s good coz it’ll show u where to go and if u;re lost, at least it tell u that u’re lost. Hmmm, but what if u’re stuck in a low-tech country which cant even afford putting up signs on roads? Then my friend, u’re seriously in for a treat. Signs r important and we really cant live w/o it, at least for me I think it is.

??

Today is just another one of those days where I have so much to type about but the rhythm just couldn’t start flowing. It’s like being in a market selling goods and u’re a fickle minded consumer. So many choices, so lil time but a choice has to be made. Hmmmm wait, this is going to a direction I rather not walk down just yet. =)
So anyway, since we’re always trying to publicize our carnival, liks has started a thread on xfresh announcing our carnival. We were hoping for a good response yet what we received what depressing. Furthermore there was this asshole who started flaming our school so what are to do but to flame back? It’s not smth we’re proud of but when some1 steps on our nerve, we hv to do smth. Besides, it’s wrong for him to start flaming us in a public forum where all we had wanted to do was to publicize our carnival.
Grandma fell a few days back and cant really move now. Dad brought her to a traditional Chinese meds guy who after examining her leg concluded that it’s her veins. She’s whining and complaining bout the pain which I can understand becoz it sux when u cant move and it hurts when u try. Nevertheless, there is nthg we can do to ease her pain but to just keep supporting her and layaning her as much as possible. It’s known that old people are attention seekers and I think it’s only fit for us to play to her tune, she’s in pain and deserve every ounce of our str and attention. May u recover soon!

Funny

Are u seriously kidding with me? LOL.... this is so hilarious that it's absurd to the point which i almost cant believe it..... HAHAHAHA..... gr8..... 4 yrs.

Water Lily

Today was tiring, but it was worth it. Was atop my bed at around 3.30 and slept till 7.30. Which i think the only thing that awoke me from my beautiful dream was my stomache growling for food.

As i was walking out to the porch to get the car, smth strange caught my eye. In the middle of my man-made pond, stood a singular being in full blossom reaching for the moon. Looking so subtle yet elegant at the same time.

-Reaching for the moon-

-Notice behind the blossomed flower is another one waiting to blossom-

-Beautiful-

I dont know why but i didnt notice it b4. But i did today.

Resolved

Wounds wide open with blood gushing out, this is the best time to rub salt on it. Aggravate the pain to the extend that the victim passes out then only can u administer the most painful medicine to save his life.

Desperate times calls for desperate measures and when things get worse, the urge to find a solution is so strong that it seems paramount to other things. I think i hv found my resolve. It came unexpected, in a place where wouldnt guess i could think it thru. Yet it did. Yet it did.

It was just a short composition, consisting bout 600 words which i wrote while i was zombie-ing in my parents office. There was nthg to do and i was just lying there trying to sleep. But the lights were piercing thru my closed eye lids and she just begins to form whenever i close my eyes. I penned down my thoughts, my feelings towards her and patch it up with a lil bit of emotions. That's what essay should hv, feelings and emotions & not just plain academical points.

After composing that which no1 will read it, only myself. I've decided on the course i need to take and i will embark on the mission to convince her to take the 1st step to the 1000 miles journey with me. =)

Fizzling Out

I think I should put an end to this. It is consuming me slowly from within and if I were to leave it as it is, im gonna be fully consumed by it. And I will not allow that to happen. My mind is in a mess and I cant focus. I couldn’t event sleep just now with the thoughts of __ just kept haunting me. It made me angry and boils my blood for this is smth I’ve no control over and maybe im frightened? A concoction of emotions all mixed up flows thru my veins. Im a mess!

I think I should put an end to this but my only worry is that I’ll regret ending smth which I did not want to end. Thank you for causing this misery.

Mimpiku

Ingin ku lukiskan nota nota
Lagu ku mengikut rentak kita

Dengarkan suara
Mimpi ku bertemakan
Namamu senantiasa selalu selalu

Sedalam tinggi
Seluas jauh
Begitulah cita-cita ku
Sekiranya kau ingin tahu

Selama ini
Hingga ke akhirnya
Suka-duka senyum selalu
Kita bersama punya satu...
Mimpi

Dengarkan suara
Mimpi ku bertemakan
Namamu selalu
Namamu selalu

Sedalam tinggi
Seluas jauh
Begitulah cita-cita ku
Sekiranya kau ingin tahu

Selama ini
Hingga ke akhirnya
Suka-duka senyum selalu
Kita bersama punya satu...
Mimpi

Kita bersama punya satu...
Mimpi

Yawn

I missed breakfast and I missed lunch. By the time I head to the court my stomach was growling, crying to be fed. But I wont eat, coz I cant run much if I ate. Didn’t really make a difference anyway, still played like shit today!

Decided to skip tuition while playing bball and I blame it all solely on my instincts. CC was crappy, work was not done and they weren’t serious. Campfire’s only 2 months away and there are loads to be done.

Had RA afters which was not bad. Very good exercise, climbing that is. Every time I look up at the long pipe, fear takes over for a few secs. Common wall was easy but they all couldn’t even get up there needless to say climb over.Hmmph, more training needed. Half pipe was a piece of cake and requires no skill- just strength- yet they skill couldn’t conquer it. WTF?

An event manager met us after RA to discuss a contract of us building a few gadgets for em and they’ll pay us. He wants 6 main gadgets with 4 peripherals and offered 1.3k with transport or 1.6 w/o transport. I aint really keen onto this, takes too much effort and it’s a rush. The event’s on may 10 and we don’t even have woods yet. WTF? Besides, 1.3k is a lil less on the money side.

One day trip

THE plan was to have a one day trip to penang and we were to start our journey at 6. Okay, i dont mind since i get to eat, eat, eat and eat. Then they decided to go to muar. Fine by me.

So on that day i woke up at 9 to the sound of some shit ass mobile ringing non-stop. I went to my parents room to find my dad still sleeping. Feeling a lil pissed i went back to bed knowing that the trip will not materialise. I woke up at 11 and after doing the things ppl dont mention that do in the toilet but ppl knows, i went down to the hall and saw both my parents there. Armed still with the pissy feeling i opened my gap -

me: So much for penang
parents : Both cockstares me awhile.
me : so much for Muar, now we staying at home.
mom : u didnt want to wake up!
me: -.- *thinks to self- wtf?*
mom : woke u all up didnt wanna wake up. Dont blame us.
me : Quite got... and proceed to lie down on the couch.

So neither penang nor muar happened instead we whisked our asses to Malacca. Malacca, the place where it all started, the cornerstone of our very civilisation. If malacca didnt happen, malaysia would be from somewhere else anyway.

So, 1st stop, 2nd sis fish ball.... The mee was bad and the soup a lil tasteless but the fish balls are delicious and bouncy. I think u can almost play ping pong with the balls. The 'FU CHUK' was extremely tasteful and crispy with just enough fish paste inside to add to the great taste. Not too oily too. Nice

Then we went to hv chicken rice ball! "kai lap fan". The ori stall just finished so we went to the 2nd best which tasted not bad anyway. Sis was damn kampung as she havent tasted this b4. =.= what kind?

Out of the blue, my dad decided to visit a shopping complex which was more a like a shoplot which didnt have elevators nor escalators. WTH, ever heard of technological advancements? Got myself a belt for formal wear. Apparently it's important.

Dad brought us into a back alley where it didnt look very clean. There was only 2 tables with numerous chairs situated atop of another table was plates after saucer plates of chili sauce with peanut, lime and a tinge of 'har gao'. Hmmmm ? Then i saw it. Behind the table near the old lady that was preparing the chili, were buckets after buckets of 'si ham', 'lala' and 'loh'. 1st is ordered 2 of each, then we added more and more and soon it came to about 12 plates. The price? DIRT CHEAP- only RM 16. Since they only boiled it, there was must taste to it except for it's FRESH-ness which is most important. The chili was... fantastic. Thank god for hep. b injection!

Dinner was taken by the seaside at the portugese settlement. It was fabled to be so and so delicious but it turned out to be a miserable tourist spot which means that the food arent really up the standard and price is touri-shi. We ordered - sambal sotong which was not bad - the only dish there that is so-, sambal fried rice, chicken curry devil - which should be hot and spicy but wasnt - and black pepper crab - which tasted saltier than sea water, or just as salty =.= -.

We ended our trip in malacca with a final stuffing of out stomache. The claypot rice was s'posed to be good. It was jus that, SUPPOSED. It wasnt horrid but it didnt have much taste to it either. Dad also ordered 'oor xian' which is oysters fried with egg which had more flour than oysters. Crappy. Sate was well sate, nthg spectacular. The only thing that was, was that a snake appeared at the compound but i didnt see it myself. Just saw old men crowding around the tree with oo-aahh's and mumblings. Oh i forgot, the tea was like dishwater, sucky.

And we crashed into my seats of our car. I was sneezing non-stop after a few mins in the car and the last count was at 11 or 12. Not sure but it damn right was a disturbance. Slept the whole way back and i think it rained. Took us 2 hours to reach home whilst it took us only 1 hour 20 mins to get there.

All in all, i have no complains as it was fun and fulFILLING. Im waiting excited for the trip to penang as penang is seriously a food paradise. *drool*

Sigh

When every1 around you says u're sampah, i think i need to take a step back and analyse a lil if i am really sampah. Playing 2nd fiddle, no.... third \XD aint really nice but, it cant be helped. It's not like i didnt invest must effort in it, i just..... eff-ing gr8, im outta words. This will be exciting but a lil depressing at the same time. *yawn*

wtf?

It's surprising how smth so un-wrong can be so wrong at the wrong time and cause so much rage that it boils the blood to the bones. Crappy.